Woman refuses to host niece's baby shower after doing so three times before without any gratitude, entitled niece confronts her about it, but is quickly put in her place

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 15, 2025 9:00 PM EST

When you are a part of a big family, everyone quickly embraces a role within the family that sticks with them for the rest of their lives.

Every family has the baker who bakes the cake for family gatherings, the entertainer who plans fun games for everyone to play, the driver who always drives people wherever they need to go, and the planner who actively plans events and parties for different family members. The roles are endless, but we all have at least one, and for some reason, we commit to them like they are as important as our jobs.

Assuming a big role is often very much a full-time job, and doing so for the family often means you do not get any recognition for all your hard work. The question is – should you keep doing it? Is maintaining family peace actually worth all the sweat and tears you put in to plan, cook, or entertain your family? 

You will find it extremely unsurprising that many people find it not worth it, much like the aunt in the story down below…

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  • The aunt in the story down below found herself being the unofficial event host and planner of every family gathering, and she is not a fan of this job. Especially not when her entitled niece keeps asking her to plan more parties for her, to which she barely even shows up, and never says thank you. Eventually, the aunt decided that all her hard work was not worth it, and decided to refuse any of her niece's future requests, which did not go well the next time her niece approached her.

  • 01
    "If you the shower, pay for it"
    via pixelshot
  • 02

    "AITA for not offering to host my niece's shower?"

    I am the one in my family that hosts get togethers - holidays, graduation parties, showers, etc. I am an event planner and own a small event hall, so it just makes sense plus I genuinely enjoy it.
    via Auntie68
  • 03
    My side of the family is huge, lots of siblings and kids. I have always, ALWAYS offered up my event hall and planning for their use even though it comes at a cost for my business.
    via Auntie68
  • 04
    My niece (now 25f), we can call her Mary, has taken me up on that three times in the past for her post- elopement party and two baby showers. For each of those she gave me no
    via Auntie68
  • 05
    directions, just said "do whatever you want." So I did, trying to keep her in mind. At her first baby shower she turned up 30 minutes late in raggedy sweats,
    via Auntie68
  • 06
    stayed long enough to eat and gather up the presents, then left. No thank-yous offered. My brother and SIL (her parents) made excuses, saying the pregnancy was very rough. So we made allowances for that.
    via Auntie68
  • 07
    At her post-elopement dinner she again showed up late, stayed on her phone the whole time, ate and left. Again, no thank yous. When my mother commented on that, my
    via Auntie68
  • 08
    brother said she was going through some newlywed stress as an excuse. Her second baby shower started the same way. When she asked me to gather up all the presents
    via Auntie68
  • 09
    so she could leave, I suggested she stay and open them so everyone could enjoy seeing what was given. She scoffed and said, "I don't want to stay at these little parties any
    via Auntie68
  • 10
    longer than I have to." So I gathered up the presents and decided not to offer my little parties to her in the future. Fast forward to her sister's wedding shower. We have
    via Auntie68
  • 11
    a delightful time, even though Mary has done the usual eat-then-leave without offering to help or just be there for her sister. My brother and I are loading up the presents
    via Auntie68
  • 12
    when he mentions that Mary is expecting again and when can I host the shower. I told him I wouldn't be offering this time around and why. He was taken aback and said that he was surprised I was
    via Auntie68
  • 13
    letting that comment get under my skin but whatever, my choice. The next day I get an irate call from Mary. I remind her that she said she didn't care for my parties so why
    via Auntie68
  • 14
    does she want it anyway? It turns out she got rid of all her baby supplies and needed a shower to get the presents. I told her to post her registry online and I'm sure people would help her out. She got angry and hung up.
    via Auntie68
  • 15
    Then my brother calls. He says I'm being childish. I told him that if he wants the shower he can pay for it, and gave him the standard quote for that event cost. He just
    via Auntie68
  • 16
    sputtered and said they'd have someone else host. The family is divided on this one. I still feel like I am not being unreasonable. AITA?
    via Auntie68
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10454234624
    via Jecapix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    Potential_Narwhal122 NTA. She shows ZERO appreciation for people (you) going to the trouble to arrange events, and basically uses you to gather people to give her stuff, with no effort or financial responsibility on her part.
    via Potential_Narwhal122
  • 19
    Basically, she expects everything to be given to her, and her spoiled majesty is aghast you won't keep up her status quo. Your brother, and others, are just enabling her. No one seems to register that it costs you time and money for someone who doesn't appreciate it in the least.
    via Potential_Narwhal122
  • 20
    SPINPINS NTA and who has a baby shower for every kid? She's 25, it's not like this was a 10 years down the line surprise, why isn't isn't keeping her baby stuff instead of using you to to crowd source for gifts? She and
    via SPINPINS
  • 21
    her parents are so entitled. I'm sure others in your extended family have noticed she can't even pretend to be thankful before collecting and her gifts, stuffing her face and leaving each time.
    via SPINPINS
  • 22
    RelationBig4907 NTA she's ungrateful and quite honestly as a mother of four you cannot expect to have a full blown baby shower every kid. Maybe your brother should have a little gathering at his home.
    via RelationBig4907
  • 23
    BreakApprehensive489 ΝΤΑ Who even needs 3 baby showers? She should be thankful she had 1, plus the post elopement party.
    via BreakApprehensive489
  • 24
    mommaneedsfun NTA. She's ungrateful for the work you put into something for her at no cost to her or her family. Glad you put your foot down because they have been taking advantage of your generosity.
    via mommaneedsfun
  • 25
    Flat_Contribution707 NTA. Mary just wants the presents.
    via Flat_Contribution707

Tags

family drama aita baby kids mother niece reddit story parenting aunt family pregnant sister baby shower Reddit women parents children Father
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